


you are the blood that I bleed (and I don't wanna let go)

by fadinglight123



Series: Fives Week 2020 [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, FivesWeek2k20, Gen, Humor, The Author Regrets Nothing, i was watching vine comps while writing again and it led to this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadinglight123/pseuds/fadinglight123
Summary: Day 1-ForbiddenSenator Amidala seemed like a lovely woman. She treated all the clones with respect and made sure to ask and remember their names.She was also obviously in love with General Skywalker.That in itself wasn't too strange. It was a running joke in the 501st that their general seemed to attract admirers everywhere he went. What was strange was how he seemed to be in love with the Senator right back."He's...flirting?" Echo sounded almost ready to faint."I thought that wasn't allowed?"  Fives vaguely recalled Echo explaining the regs for Jedi to him once, and it had included something about that.———aka, Fives does the “is this allowed” vine with Padmé and Anakin, Rex tries to explain the concept of attachment to his little brothers while mildly drunk, and Echo is stressed and confused by the regulation breaches he’s witnessing.
Relationships: CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-7567 | Rex, background Anakin Skywalker/Padmé Amidala
Series: Fives Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774357
Comments: 2
Kudos: 107
Collections: Fives Week 2k20





	you are the blood that I bleed (and I don't wanna let go)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is only four days late. Better late than never, though!
> 
> Title from "Let Go" by Dean Lewis

Fives watched General Skywalker with no small amount of disbelief. Every so often he’d glance over at Captain Rex to make sure he was also seeing this, but he seemed to think what was going on was _normal_. At least Echo seemed to be in the same boat as him. He exchanged a bewildered look with his twin before returning his stare to the general. 

“What am I kriffing seeing,” he muttered to himself. Rex chuckled quietly, but he ignored it in favor of trying to make sense of what he was witnessing. 

It was the first time the 501st had been on Coruscant since he and Echo had joined the legion. Generals Skywalker and Kenobi, along with Commander Tano, had been requested to return to help with some Senate proceedings, Fives hadn’t paid much attention to the specifics of it. All he knew was that while most of his brothers were officially on shore leave for the duration of their time here, Rex, Echo, himself, and a few other members of Ghost and Torrent would be acting as a personal guard for the generals and the senators they would be working with. In spite of still being on duty, it was a welcome reprieve from the near-endless string of dangerous missions they’d been on lately. 

It wasn’t Fives and Echo’s first time on the capital, they’d been stationed there briefly during their ARC training to be taught urban warfare tactics by some of the Coruscant Guard. But last time, they’d really only gotten a glimpse of the planet. They’d spent most of the 2 months they were there in the training halls running sims and studying, with only a few excursions into Coruscant proper, and they hadn’t been back since. This trip was proving to be just as educational, as they were getting a much better look at the famous Galactic City and its inner workings.

And it wasn’t the only thing they were learning. 

Senator Padmé Amidala seemed like a lovely woman. She greeted the Jedi warmly and had been equally as gracious with the clones. She addressed Rex with familiarity and made a point to ask and remember the names of all the other _vode_ acting as an escort. It was the most respect he and Echo could remember getting from a civilian in a long time, and it went a long way in earning their respect in return. 

She was also obviously in love with General Skywalker. 

That in itself wasn’t too strange. They’d seen civilians of all kinds throw themselves at the General. It was a running joke among the 501st that their general seemed to attract admirers everywhere he went. What _was_ strange was how he seemed to be in love with the Senator right back. 

“He’s...flirting?” Echo sounded almost ready to faint. 

_That’s one way to put it_ . In Fives’s opinion, they were well past flirting and straight into…he doesn’t know if there’s a word for what the general and senator were doing, but it was certainly more than _flirting_. 

“I thought that wasn’t allowed?” Fives vaguely recalled Echo explaining the regs for Jedi to him once and it had included something about that. 

From their places scattered around the edges of the room where this meeting was being held, they were either witnessing evidence that his brother had been _wrong_ or a blatant breaking of the rules by the general. 

Knowing Skywalker? Odds were good it was the latter. 

Fives knew the general wasn’t a particular fan of playing by the rules, but this was just...something else. From the moment Senator Amidala and Senator Organa had arrived, she and Skywalker had been flirting. 

And growing progressively less subtle about it, too. 

Fives could admit he wasn’t really experienced with how these things worked. But he also wasn’t kriffing blind, thank you very much. He could recognize the clear fondness when they had greeted each other. He wasn’t blind to the ( _disgustingly obvious, how in the hells had any of the other Jedi not noticed this yet_ ) heart eyes the general was giving Senator Amidala. Nor had he missed the slightly more veiled, but still _very obvious,_ heart eyes she was sending back. There was an obvious, deep familiarity with how they interacted, similar to what he saw among the _vode_ , but...softer? Less playful. And less brotherly. Obviously. 

He winced at the high-pitched squeak Echo let out when Senator Amidala called the general _‘Ani’_ before hastily correcting herself. Distantly, he suddenly understood why Rex had recommended they turn the mics in their helmets off and only use private comms during this meeting. Speaking of Rex, he was laughing at them, Fives could feel it. The _sheb_ may look perfectly serene, but he knows his captain. He was definitely laughing at them. 

“Something wrong there, Echo?” Rex’s voice had barely concealed amusement ( _Yep. Definitely laughing; the sheb would pay for it later. Fives had a store of hair dye he’d been saving for a special occasion)._ His twin, forcibly pulled himself together.

“Nothing at all, sir. Just...uh.” Echo floundered and turned to Fives for help, which...what in the hells was _he_ supposed to say?

“Sir...the general and the senator. Are they...always like this?” he finally managed to ask. 

Rex tilted his head. “Actually, this is pretty restrained for them.” 

“ _Restrained?”_ Fives had to swallow back a bark of laughter at that. 

“And…” Echo hesitated. “They haven’t been… _caught?”_

“Caught doing what?” 

Fives grit his teeth at the, frankly, pathetic attempt at playing dumb and decided to bite the bullet. One of them had to. 

“Sir, with all due respect, you can’t expect us to believe that no one else has noticed... _whatever_ is going on between them.” 

Rex actually turned his head to look back at him. Fives could practically _see_ the tired, deadpan expression his brother had on under his bucket. It’s one Fives has seen often, and the rest of Torrent has dubbed the “I-Don’t-Get-Paid-Enough-For-This-Shit” face. 

“Fives. _Everyone_ knows.” 

There’s sputtering coming from Echo, but Fives is only dimly aware of it because. _What?_

“Well. Everyone who’s _seen_ them interact knows, at least,” Rex muses. 

This more than anything seems to be enough to snap Echo back to coherent sentences. _Must be nice._

_“What do you mean, everyone knows?”_ his twin hisses. “ _Clearly_ , everyone doesn’t know, or-”

“How long has this been going on? Was it _after_ we left for ARC training?” _Oh look, apparently sentences_ are _working,_ Fives mused distantly. 

Rex actually laughed at that, which seemed a little unfair since _he’s_ the one upending their entire worldview today, _what the karking hell!_

“No, no. It’s been longer than that. I haven’t exactly... _asked_ the general, but smart money is on it starting somewhere close to the start of the war.” 

There’s dead silence for a moment. 

_“Have you placed bets on the general’s karking love life?!”_ Echo screeched. 

_Oh wow, Echo is pissed. Or shocked. Hard to tell._ Not that Fives could judge, he was in the midst of a mild crisis as he tried to process everything thrown at him over the last 20 minutes. 

“Could we save the chatter for later and focus on this debrief, please?” Cody cut in smoothly, silencing all of them. 

Echo jerked in surprise and Fives winced, glancing at his twin. They’d both forgotten the Marshall Commander was on their comm line. Hells, he’d forgotten the Marshall Commander was in the damn _room_ , he’d been so preoccupied by the spectacle the general and Senator Amidala were putting on. 

Which, actually, on second thought…Commander Cody was _in the room_ , and being just as blasé about what was going on as Rex. Which is just. A hell of a realization to have. Fives has learned from experience that Cody isn’t as _by-the-books_ and strict as he sometimes seems, but he still holds following regulations to be far more important than the 501st at large. 

“It’s complicated. I’ll explain it to you later,” Rex murmured. 

Cody sighed. 

“You didn’t brief them, beforehand? Honestly, Rex.”

“What, like _you_ briefed _me?”_ he shot back. Before the two COs could start bickering, Echo piped up again.

_“_ The _commander_ knows, apparently _everyone_ knows and just….never said anything to General Kenobi?!” Fives could sympathize with the disbelief in Echo’s voice, he really could. 

“General Kenobi knows too. Like I said, I’ll explain later-”

_“General Kenobi kn-”_

_“Later!”_

Fives traded skeptical looks with his brother, but they both subsided and settled back in to observe the rest of the meeting. He resisted the urge to groan when, as soon as he was paying attention again, the general started complimenting the senator on her efforts to support the troops with a sickeningly obvious smile. _Yeah, no wonder Rex said everyone knows…_

  
  


* * *

  
  


Later, when the meeting was officially over and General Skywalker had dismissed them for the evening before darting off ( _probably to go meet the senator somewhere private_ ), Rex turned and found both of them staring expectantly at him. 

Rex sighed, and offered them a smile. “Alright. Come on, let’s hit 79’s. You’ve both earned a drink.” 

Fives and Echo exchanged glances before allowing the captain to tug them along with him. 

“I’m never one to turn down a good drink.” Fives shrugged. 

“Ok. But you’re going to _spill_ , Rex!” Echo had narrowed his eyes at the captain. Rex nodded, still smiling. 

“I hear you, Echo. I’ll tell you what I can, but I don’t have all the answers either. C’mon, we can talk when we get there.” 

* * *

  
  


Rex made them wait until after they’d sat down in a back corner of 79’s and drank at least half a bottle each before he said anything else, the _sheb_. 

_“So?”_ Echo finally prodded him, looking impatient. Their brother took another long pull from his bottle, a considering expression on his face, before he finally replied:

“So. General Skywalker and Senator Amidala are in love.” 

Fives and Echo let out twin snorts of derision. 

_“No shit_!” Echo sneered. 

“I didn’t think Jedi could _do_ that,” Fives agreed, taking a long drink of his own. 

“What, feel things?” 

Fives waved a hand at the captain. “No, no, I’ve seen General Skywalker get angry often enough to know they can feel things. But just...loving someone like that. I wasn’t exactly paying the most attention when he was explainin’ it, but I’m pretty sure Echo said that was against Jedi regs.” Echo made a noise in agreement at that. 

Rex sighed, contemplating how to say what he wanted to. It belatedly occurred to Fives that doing this while tipsy maybe wasn’t the brightest idea. 

“I’m gonna explain this to you the same way Cody explained it to me,” Rex decided, taking another swig. “Which is apparently how General Kenobi explained it to him. Yes, I’ll get to that in a minute, Echo, hang on,” Rex cut off Echo’s next question before he could ask. Fives snickered at his twin’s disgruntled huff before focusing back on his older brother. 

“The Jedi...it’s not that they aren’t allowed to love people. They’re supposed to love everyone. And everything. Caring about...everything in the galaxy is half the point of being a Jedi.”

Fives made a considering noise. “I guess I always thought they were supposed to be above the whole. I don’t know. Loving-people-around-them thing. Detached from it all, or some banthashit.”

Rex chuckled. “They’re still people, _vod’ika._ And people feel. People care. Asking anyone to not feel anything is...you may as well ask them to be droids.” That thought sobered both of the ARC troopers for a minute as they let that sink in before Rex continued. “Some civvies, they think we’re just _agol beskar’ad,_ no independence or feelings of our own. Made to follow orders. But we know better. You love your brothers, Fives? All of ‘em?” 

Fives took a swig of his drink and looked around. Took in the sight of all the _vode_ that were in 79’s that night. Thought of all the _vode_ in the Guard who were out patrolling Galactic City right now. Thought of the ones out in the farthest reaches of the galaxy, fighting and dying for the war they’d been created to fight. And he looked at the two sitting with him: Rex, his _ori’vod_ , who’d trained him and trusted him and saved his _sheb_ more times than he could count; and Echo, his _yai’vod,_ his last remaining batchmate and closest friend. 

“You know I do,” he finally replied. Rex smiled. 

“I do. I know you’d die for most of ‘em, too. The Jedi are the same way, _vod._ Maybe not to the same extreme, not as deeply loyal to individuals. But they care about the entire galaxy, will fight and die for it. It’s why they’re fighting _with_ us in this war, instead of leaving everything for us to sort out.” Here, Rex frowned a little. “Where it’s _different_ , and I get a little fuzzy on understanding it myself, is _attachment_.” 

Echo and Fives exchanged a confused look as they let the captain think through his next words. 

“Cody and I...we were like you two when we first saw the way those two interact. Thought it was a total breach in protocol. He actually witnessed it first, before General Skywalker was assigned to lead the 501st. General Kenobi took him aside after the meeting and...I guess he’d sensed his confusion and concern. Explained a little more about what the whole ‘no attachment’ thing means. Which is what Cody passed to me after my first time witnessing it. And I’m gonna pass what he said to you, because Force knows I don’t have a better way to explain it.” Rex paused and took another sip of his drink.

“The whole goal of a Jedi is to let go. To...detach yourself from worldly concerns by being as selfless as possible. So Jedi aren’t really supposed to... _own_ or _possess_ anything. It’s...Cody explained it as being similar to what we experience. We’re soldiers. We all know that...that every time we go out there, every second this war drags on, our brothers are dying.” All three of them paused as that heavy reality they all avoided talking about sunk in. “...That there is no guarantee that our squadmates, our friends, our batchmates will make it through alive. And we have to be prepared for that. We have to accept it and move on every time. Because there’s a war going on and we have a job to do, and that doesn’t stop just because we lose someone we care about.”

Rex turned to look them in the eyes. 

“The Jedi do that all their lives. Whether in peacetime or at war. They can’t be obsessed with holding on to anything or anyone. Death and loss is a certainty, and they... _feel_ it differently than us through the Force. So they have to be prepared to let go, or they’ll spiral down into fear and hate. It’s how you get _darjetii_ like Dooku. That’s why attachments aren’t allowed, why they don’t stay with their families, why they don’t marry. It’d be too hard to let go, and the results can be disastrous. Doesn’t mean they aren’t allowed to have feelings, and care and love the people around them in the meantime. As long as they can let go when the time comes.” 

“So...that’s why General Kenobi doesn’t say anything? Because the general being in love is allowed, it’s just...attachment to a person that’s forbidden?” Echo asked slowly. 

“Exactly.” Rex paused, before smiling wryly. “That, and he’d be a hypocrite. You should see General Kenobi with the Duchess of Mandalore.” 

“Wait, _what?”_

“Another time. Besides, Cody knows more what’s going on there than I do.” He got serious for a moment. “One last thing. I said before that everyone knows but...we don’t really go spreading it around. It’s one thing for a few officers and General Skywalker’s old master to know he’s in love with a senator. It’s another for the entire army to know. General Kenobi...mostly ignores it and Cody says that he and General Skywalker never really talk about it, so that’s what we’ve done.” 

Echo and Fives shared a look, before nodding. 

“We’ll keep it to ourselves, Rex,” Echo promised. 

“No one will hear a thing from us,” Fives agreed. 

If there was one thing Fives could understand, it was the desire to keep such things private. 

No one deserved the burden of knowing that, one day, they’d probably lose everyone they loved. If anyone could understand how heavy that knowledge was, it was the clones. 

As Rex and Echo turned to lighter topics beside him, Fives continued to sip at his beer, contemplating quietly. So many of his brothers had been lost already. And more were sure to follow as the war continued. For a brief moment, as the grief of that certainty covered him while he watched his two brothers laugh and joke around, he understood how some Jedi could fail to let go. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do if it meant he could keep as many of the brothers he still had alive. 

But the moment passed. Fives was a soldier. He would do his duty, and he’d carry the memory of his fallen brothers with him as he did. He would do them proud, and their loss would never be in vain.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So, honestly, I was trying to come up with something for this prompt when I suddenly imagined Padmé and Anakin blatantly flirting and Fives in the background doing the "is this allowed" vine meme. Hence, this was born. 
> 
> {Mando'a Translations, courtesy of mandoa.org}
> 
> vode- brothers (or sisters, depends on context); used here as a generic title for the clones  
> sheb- ass  
> vod'ika- little brother  
> agol beskar'ad- meat/flesh droids  
> ori'vod- older brother  
> yai'vod- twin; a word created by captain_fives, literally translates to "womb-sibling"  
> vod- brother; singular version of vode  
> darjetii- dark Jedi, or Sith
> 
> I'm fadinglight123 on tumblr, hmu if you want to cry about the clones.


End file.
